Our Love Story - Finale

If you are just entering this story, you may find it beneficial for your comprehension to read the first 3 parts.

I will try to finish this for all you who just can’t wait for the end of the story when you already know the outcome!  :-) I warn you it’s long!

I broke out in a cold sweat!!
“Ah, this is Japheth Stauffer from Blackduck MN, and I would like to talk to you about what has been happening this past week.  You see, ………”

(laughing)”I told Aimee that she should give me a list of those guys that are acceptable and who isn’t before she leaves.  That’s why I almost said, ‘Let me see if your on the list!’” (I had known prior to the call that I was not the first to ask for Aimee’s friendship!)

We talked for about 15 minutes and I shared my heart and its desire to be a support to Aimee and the love that I had for her.  I also shared that if he gave his blessing and I won her heart, I would marry her and not defraud her by leading her on and then dropping her.  I asked if he could give his blessing on us starting a courtship relationship to which he replied, “I recon’ if your good enough for her, your good enough for me.”

(YESSSS!!!!) “Do you have any recommendations as to when I should ask?”

“I guess it’s up to you, its fine with me.”

HALLELUIAH!!  I hung up the phone and prayed a prayer of thanksgiving.  But I still had one hurdle to cross.  You see, Aimee had grown very close to Marvin & Sylvia in Michigan during her time of teaching school there and I knew she valued their input very much.  I thus had resolved that I would ask them as well.  Aimee had been in communication with them all week and was planning on stopping in there on the way home to visit and see her cancer doctor.
I called their phone over and over again but nobody answered it!!  What’s the good of having a  phone if you don’t answer it!! :-)  Finally I left a message and waited on pins and needles as the afternoon just DRAGGED on forever!  Aimee couldn’t sleep so she came upstairs to see if any one else was awake.  We sat down and played a game of Rummikube and a little later my father joined us.  

Finally we had to leave for church where Leroy & Clara Mae Yoder were having their 50th wedding anniversary before we had Singspiration.  I stayed at the celebration for as long as I could stand and then told my Mom that I was going home to see if Marvin had called back yet.  I mean, think about it!!  Why should I be celebrating someone else’s wedding when I could be working on my own! :-)

I got home and he had called!  I prayed before I dialed the phone and he picked up right away.  He was so easy to talk to that we ended up talking for over 2 ½ hours.  Marvin asked some questions that I knew I had reason to be ashamed of my answers but I had committed in my heart that if this was going to be of the Lord, it would have to be done on His principles and that meant complete honesty.  I opened up my heart to him and shared of some of the struggles I had faced and some that I had failed in.  I also shared how that God had given me so much victory over a lot of them though the fight was still intense.  Finally he said that he felt he could give his blessing to my pursuit of Aimee!  I asked if he had any suggestions as to when since they knew of her weak health.  He felt that since Aimee despised people coming on like something that they weren’t, he would suggest as soon as possible!  (AWRIGHT!)

I asked if we could pray before we broke up and he readily agreed.  As soon as we got done praying,

Marvin said, “Japheth, as we were praying, I felt that I need to ask my wife first what she thinks about this.  Could you wait till I talk this over with her?”
(I KNEW we shouldn’t have prayed!....No, that’s not right.  God knows what He’s doing)  “Ok, when do you think you will get back to me?”
“Oh, maybe later tonight or early tomorrow morning.”

I went back to church, not sure how to feel.  I was elated that he felt confident with me but would he be able to convince his wife?  Singspiration had already started when I got there and the church was packed.  In the foyer sat a guy I hadn’t seen for a while and I sat down next to him.  After a few minutes he turned to me and said, “So, I hear you have a girlfriend.”  What was I supposed to say!!!  “Not that I know of.  Do you want to introduce me to her?”  He just kinda shrugged his shoulders and looked at me like he didn’t believe me.

After we got home that evening, I sat around the phone waiting for their call.  Finaly I went to bed at 11:00pm and I think slept between 2-5:00.

Monday - Marvin called first thing in the morning and said that they felt it might be best to wait till Aimee came thru there on the way home and they could talk face to face.  (they also knew about her talking with her eyes!!)  I asked Marvin to pray for me.  My heart was so much involved already that I wasn’t sure I would be able to hide it from her for 3 more days.  We prayed and then hung up the phone.

I went to work that morning and I don’t think that I got one machine fixed all morning!  Finally around lunch I called my mother who was at the chiropractor and asked if we could meet for lunch.  I still remember sitting in the car and weeping to my mother the tears of fear and hurt that I “knew” would be coming.  It felt that I had laid my heart out on a butchers block and it was just waiting to be pounded on by a meat tenderizer.  Mother asked my two very pointed questions.
“Do you believe that God can still work this out?”
“Yes, but it feels like it won’t work out this way!”
“If it is not God’s will for you to get together, do you still want it to work out?”
(pause) “No, but you and Daddy BOTH agree that this is what God is leading us to do!!!”
“Then you need to let it in God’s hands to finish working it out”

I went back to work and about and hour or so later I put on some music to help take my mind off of the situation, (fat chance!) and  turned on a song that went like this.

When my way seems dark and drear and the future I don’t know,
When my feels so empty, as the tears unending flow.
When My heart breaks with sorrow and a tempest fills my soul,
This on thing I know for sure,
My God is in control!

His way is perfect,
His way is perfect.
Though I don’t understand His wise and loving plan.
His way is perfect,
His way is perfect.
Take my life and make a vessel purified,
God makes no mistakes
His way is BEST!

I bowed my head there at my desk and just sobbed.  “Lord I put this whole thing in your hands.  I know that you want the best for both Aimee and my so I turn it over to you and trust that what ever you do will be your best.  And Lord,  If Aimee is better off without me, please help me to be able to bear it.”  I can’t say that there was an immediate sense of peace but there was a resignation to the fact that it was out of my hands and into God’s.

About an hour later the phone rings.  “Hello, Vac & Sew.”

“Japheth, this is Daddy.  Are you sitting down?”
“Yes.”   ?!
“Where would you like to take Aimee for supper tonight?”
“WHAT!!”

When my mother had arrived home, she told my father about our talk.  Daddy also had some concerns but hadn’t voiced them to me to avoid more fretting on my part.  What if Aimee calls home before she leaves?  Their going to be asking her if she’s dating and if she likes the guy and all those other questions and Aimee isn’t going to know what is going on.  Daddy decided to call Marvin and talk things over.  Marvin heard Daddy out and then said, “Bob let us call Aimee and talk to her on the phone.  There are some things we know and maybe we should talk a little more.”  Now let me back up a little

That Monday morning, Aimee was alone for the first time in our house, so she called Sylvia.  “Sylvia, I need you to pray for me in a way that I never really asked before.  You see, there’s this guy up here and I just want you to pray with me that God would guard my heart.”  They talked for a while and then hung up.  Sylvia was giddy with curiosity to know if it was the same guy that they talked to last night!

Back to the afternoon;  Marvin called and told Aimee that a guy had asked for permission to court her and wondered if she felt up to entertaining the idea.  She stated that it depended on who was!!  Marvin kind of hedged around and finally told her that he wasn’t in the house there but was probably still at work.
Aimee: “You mean HE ASKED?!!”
They stated that “he had” and that they had asked him to wait till Aimee came thru MI to they all could talk about it.
Aimee: “I’m not sure I want him to wait.”
Marvin said that he did not know what would happen but they wanted to talk with her first.  They immediately called my dad back and stated that Japheth had their full blessing to pursue Aimee.  Thus the call to me.

After I hung up from Daddy’s bombshell, I bowed my head and wept again, not tears of frustration this time but tears of peace and thankfulness in the knowledge that God would not violate the trust I placed in Him.

Monday Evening: as I came in the door, Aimee was pitting cherries next to the table and she immediately looked into my eyes to see what might be showing there!  I quickly hurried upstairs and pretended to look in the mirror and make it look like I had come up there for a purpose.  Finally I worked up the nerve to come down and sit by the table, across from Aimee with a bouquet between for a buffer. :-)  My dad was grinning like a cat!  After trying to chat with him and he almost laughing in my face I turned to Aimee and asked, “ Would you mind gracing me with your presence at supper tonight?”
(nod)
“What was that?” (peering past the “buffer” to “see” what she was saying)
(eye contact and a nod) “Yes”
She went and got changed and Daddy and Mommy prayed with us before we left.  After opening her door and then getting in my side, I asked “Are you nervous?”
“Yeah”  
“Me to!”
Neither of us had ever been on a date and were both walking on new ground.  Being as we both wanted to talk and  neither wanted to eat, we got a little ice cream and sat by the lake and talked for 3 hours.  It was so rewarding to talk about all that God had been showing us the week before and how our hearts had been separately pulled towards each other.  We talked about our goals in life, mostly spiritually but a few other things like missions and such.  I bought her a dozen roses and we went home to arrange them in a vase.

We decided that since I wanted to meet Marvin & Sylvia as well as hear what the doctor had to say, I would take Aimee over to Michigan and her ride would meet us there.

Wednesday:  We had spent quite a bit of Tuesday together, getting her CAT films for the doc to look at, picking up her prescription, taking a canoe ride, going to a youth church service, and such.  By this morning I sensed that her heart was rapidly coming my way.  I was gladly seeing this yet I knew that I needed to tell her some of the things I told Marvin if I was to be totally open and forthright with her.  As we traveled, we prayed together, sang together, laughed together, and yes, cried together.  (We each did enough of that the past week we should at least do a little together, eh?)  I shared the things I felt I needed to and Aimee graciously forgave me and said she wouldn’t dump me.
By the evening, I knew her heart was firmly in my camp, but what to do now?

When we arrived at Marvin’s, we were greeted very warmly and had an enjoyable evening together and much to soon for the children, they were sent of to bed so the adults could talk.  I proceeded to share with them all that you have been reading the last few days, and about the time that I got to the song I filled in above, Marvin got up and took a photo from the wall and handed it to me.  It was a picture that Aimee had taken of Lake Michigan and it is partly overcast and you don’t know if it is clouding over or clearing up.  On the back was a verse from Isaiah and a note thanking them for shepherding her heart.  I got tears in my eyes because it showed once again the tender spirit that my wife had and her gratefulness for those who blessed her.

Marvin told me he wanted me to keep it.  Whoa!!  Wait a Minute!!  She gave it to them as a token of her heart!  Maybe she doesn’t want me to have it yet?  I finally turned to Aimee and asked if she wanted me to keep it and she said yes.

Remember what I had told Marvin and her father?  Did I have her heart?

“Aimee, when I asked your father and Marvin for permission to court you.  I stated that if I won your heart that I would marry you.  Have I won your heart?”
(nod)
“Will you marry me?”
(NOD, NOD)

We were all crying then!!  As we all prayed together, we realized what we were facing.  The next day would be the visit to the doctor and he would tell us if the cancer was coming back.  We also could likely be sterile and never bear children.  I distinctly remember Marvin praying that God would bless this vow with children someday.

The story is not quite over yet but I want to interject this here.  What you have just read was until now only know to probably 30-50 close friends.  Why have I shared it?  Not because I think that other young people should pattern their courtship after ours!  In fact I would discourage it!  It is dangerous to make lifelong decisions very quickly.  Having said that, I cannot argue the fact the God worked something special in our lives.  If you want to copy something, copy this, the principle of being under authority.  If our parents had not been involved as heavily as they were, this would have been the most stupid thing that we could have done.  As it was, God chose to honor because we made the decision to stay under His authorities for our lives.  And THAT, is where the peace and joy lies!

The next day the doctor told us that we need to get cancer out of our heads!  Aimee was in good  health and the CAT scan showed that we would likely be able to have children.  He didn’t know what was causing the sleeplessness and that has puzzled us to this day though the symptoms disappeared after the birth of our first child.

We have four precious children and next years model will be here sometime in April.  We also look forward to meeting our set of twins, David and Daisy, and our other child Jewel, at the great white throne.  God needs children in Heaven too!

Comments

Glen Zehr said…
Very, very interesting.....
I am amazed at how GOd works. And you have that to look back on when there are doubts in life.
Anonymous said…
Just a question...how long was it from the time you started courting until your wedding day?
Thanks for writing your story. I enjoyed reading it very much.
Anonymous said…
I remember when you and Aimee came to Youth Camp together (my first year) and people were whispering it around that you were "dating" -- it was a big thing! Then it was such a short time later we heard you were engaged......WOW. (I confess -- we thought you were both crazy.)
I enjoyed hearing all the details that I never knew before. It is amazing to see how God led you! Hope He continues to bless you both.
~Laura
Japheth said…
Arlene, it was 3 months and 11 days from the time we had our first date till we were married. During that time, we saw each other once, a two week stretch where I went down to meet her family and then she came back to work on the house. Our phone bill averaged $170 a month at .07 a minute. At that price, I HAD to get married!!
Anonymous said…
Wow! Thanks for sharing your story with us! It's simply amazing to see how God works!
Truthseeker said…
I hate what the world calls love stories. I am finally glad to have heard a real, from God, love story.

You two were really in God's hands throughout this brief courtship, thanks for sharing your story.

I do agree with you, Japheth, that the principle in this love story is that you two had really placed yourselves in God's hands, and placed yourselves under the God given authority of your and Aimee's parents and other good counselors, most of this even before meeting one another; it is not about the length of time in which it occured. Most courtships will take longer and how long or short is not the issue, but are the couple looking to God for direction and staying under His authority. And also, it is the continuing commitment to God and one another that seals a marriage.

Without a doubt your hearts were knit together by God. Thanks again for sharing. And may God continue to bless you, Aimee, and your children.
Anonymous said…
I don't really know what to say....but I ran across your blog via a link on someone else's blog and I don't remember who's.
I feel I must let you know what an encouragement your relationship with God and your wife is to me.
Lots of blogs are full of distress and doubts and fears, but yours seem so peaceful. I'm sure you have trials, but you always seem to leave them in God's hands, and that is so important to a victorious chistian life.
Keep on keeping on, I am praying for you, and also pray that I can find more blogs like yours.
Your wife has a precious blog also and it is an inspiraion to read hers too.
Anonymous said…
Your story has challenged me to more fully trust the authority in my life. I appreciate you sharing it. You did a fantastic job in the Suspense Dept.
Aimee said…
Yeah, . . . He for as long as I have known him he has the suspense thing down pat. I deal with it every day!!!! He will start his sentence and give just enough for me to stand there waiting and then go and finish drinking the rest of his tea down leisurely! I should be very patient by now . . . should be.
Anonymous said…
Question: What to do if your parents are not under God's authority and your 'adopted parents in Christ' just happen to be the parents of a ?the? Godly young lady?
Japheth said…
Anon, two things to consider. First, God still palced you in the family He did and gave you the parents He did. I have seen it work out between young people and their parents, even if their parents aren't Christian.

I know a little where of I speak, read my wife's latest post, here.Site

Two, do your parents disapprove of your proposed union? If so, be very careful to consider what life you will lead when you get married. Every time you have a problem, they will be able to say "I told you...!" It would be much better in my opinion to meet with your folks and try to work thru things so you can have their blessing.

As far as the girls parents, I feel they have to consider their daughter first and you second. That is the way you need to approach it. God, your parents, her parents, and finaly her. If you can approach marriage with everyones blessing, you will have a much better base of support when the times of struggles. The greatest test of all will be, as you approach these decisions, make sure that they drive you to your knees in prayer and humility, rather than standing straight and demand your own rights!

God gove you wisdom as you seek Him.
Anonymous said…
Thanx 4 the advice. My parents are not oppossed to the idea, I just cannot go to them and talk because we have no relationship at all. This worries me because I am afraid that it will set a pattern for my home. Please thank your parents for being there for you-and thank God for them 2.
Anonymous said…
I was just wondering if you know the name of the song that you heard, or even who wrote it... I have a friend who is looking for info about it.
Japheth said…
Hello Ryanne
The song is called "His Way Is Perfect" was written by Betsy Kistler and arranged by Mac Lynch. It was sung by Sherry Oliver Trainer on a cd put out by the Wilds Music. I have all the lyrics but no notes, if that helps. Have a great and blessed day!

Popular posts from this blog

The Kissing Conundrum

Our Love Story, Part 1