Me and our youngest, Wayne, taken at 11:30pm because he wasn't sleepy. He had to share the joy!! 

Date Night

As I entered my 20's, I started to see two different approaches to married life. One side seemed to focus more on their children and the other still went on dates and kept wooing each other. I watched my father start to date my Mom again and thought at the time that she acted rather giddy, like a teenager on a date, and during the day of, or after, her eyes had an extra sparkle in them. Thus when I got married, I didn't want to loose that fondness of pursuing each other. As a guy, I new that it would be very easy to start to see her as my Mom, there to do the laundry, cook the meals, wash the dishes, keep the house, and forget that she is the woman I wooed, the woman whose heart I had so diligently sought! Now it was mine, how would I treat it?

So thus we try to go out on a date every two weeks. We often go to a little nicer restaurant and eat a leisurely meal and then go shopping if there is anything we need. Do we do anything glamorous? Not hardly! Unless you consider shopping for groceries, glamorous. But it is time for us to be "alone." To talk, share, for me to open her door, and to sneak a kiss when she's not expecting it, to hold her hand as we walk, and let her know that she is still the most important person in my life.

I have seen the effect these evenings have on my wife and if I didn't want to do it for any other reason, I would do it in a heartbeat just to see her eyes sparkle!

We are engaged to Christ and He is still wooing our hearts. There are days that feel like the wooing has long gone, but I must remind myself that while I want to take my wife on dates all the time, life must go on. So with Christ, we love the evenings of tender feelings but I must remember that there is always more work to be done, both in my heart and in life.

Someday though, "date night" will last forever.

Male and Female Blogging

I have noticed something in my newness to the blogging world. There's Male blogs, and Female blogs. The male blogs tend to focus on controversy and things of weighty importance, while women tend to write from more personal, heartfelt emotions.

Why is this? Maybe it is because God made us different.

Us guys, tend to be somewhat like warriors! We divide and conquer! We show no emotion to feelings and tend to see things very strongly black or white. We must, if we are going to be strong and steady, and anchor in the storm, if you will. Why? Because God made us to love and cherish a woman, to protect her from the storms and be a rock for her to depend on.

The female bloggers tend to write about personal happenings in their hearts and lives. They love to read what struggles other ladies have and realize their not going thru it alone. They seem to have no trouble acknowledging the fact that they blew it or struggling with something personal. Why? (shhhh.... only God knows!)

What I find in real life is that ladies often "connect" faster and on a deeper plane than we men because they are willing to talk about their failings and fallings. We as men, do not do this for various reasons, most of which trace back to the fact that we are unwilling to reveal a chink in our armor and disqualify us from manhood! Ok, not quite that bad!

Take myself for instance. There have been some major upheavals in my life recently but I have only hinted at them because I fear what others will think.

Paul says to "Confess your faults, one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed!" Maybe that is why we struggle with things year after year, only because we are unwilling to humble ourselves and confess that we have really blown it. But look at the pay off. A closer relationship to our brother in Christ and strength to renew the battle. Our marriages grow thru struggles and while we would never ask for them, we wouldn't trade the closeness that comes from working thru them either

So what about me, am I going to be the first one to start? I am a guy, and still working up the courage too. But let me ask you a favor, if you get a chance, would you pray for me? I desperately need God's healing and guidance right now.
Thanks.

Oh, The Joys Of Children!

My children are constantly reminding me of my own halls of shame from my childhood. Take for instance this evening. The whole Stauffer tribe gets together every Saturday evening for supper and we take turns having it at each others houses. This evening went well with the men folk discussing septic systems and how to build your own chipper/mulcher. The ladies were likewise having a profitable time walking out amongst the flowers and talking over various gardening tips, and whatever else women talk about.

My eldest son has just learned the neat trick of "going" outside. We are still trying to teach him the finer points of privacy and discretion in it's use. This evening tho, he decided the time had come to do #2 without the aid of anyone older than himself or any instruction in the matter. However, while he had learned to sit on a potty, he has not learned the art of squatting in such a way as to not fill ones own pants in the process. Thus he returns to the family, quite fragrant and displaying telltale signs that not all was as it should be. I couldn't decided whether to laugh or chide him. He stood there with this look saying that he knew something was not right and that things had not turned out as he had planned but not sure what happened, or what to do now.

Needless to say, end of evening, the tub was calling!!

I remember the times of learning when I've known that I'm doing something amiss but can't for the life of me figure out what it is. Here's one story:

When we moved back from Canada to Pennsylvania, we stayed at my Grandparents place for a few months until we found a place to rent. Across the road lived a family of Amish with children the same ages as us. We spent many a evening playing with them, while they did their chores. :-) One evening I was invited to come down for supper, a first for any of our family to eat with them. I ran home and returned with the desired permission and sat down to a picnic table full of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, salad, and pies. There may have been other foods but they escape my memory as a 10 year old. They had a big spread out since it was tobacco shearing time and they had a bunch of guys over to help them get it cut and put up in the shed. I remembered that they always pray silently so when the father bowed his head, I followed suit until I heard a pronounced sigh, meaning the prayer was ended. The food was wonderful and I did great honor to it as only a growing boy can. After we were done eating the father turned to me and said "Would you return Thanks?" I had never prayed in this setting before but being asked, thought I'd give it my best shot. I don't remember exactly what I said but I do remember noticing the laughing eyes and suppressed chuckles of the boys as we got up from the table. "Oh well," I thought, "who cares! I did the best I knew!" We ran off to play and had a great evening.

About three years later, the Amish father came up to my grandfathers place one day, as he was want to do. He started laughing and said, "Elvin, I just have to tell you something that has just tickled me for years." He proceeded to tell the same story I have except he said, "Knowing that you people are not used to returning thanks after a meal, I tried to help your grandson along by INFORMING him that we were going to return thanks. And he pipes up and prays out loud!" Both my grandfather and the Amish father had a great laugh over this though my reaction to the news was of sheer horror and it was almost a year till I worked up the courage to return for a visit.

One thing that father said that will always stick with me. He said that it was good to hear one so young, be able to voice himself that way to God." I have always remembered that. Often at our prayer meetings, the young boys will pray and when there are 15 or so, it takes quite a bit more time. But I remind myself, we are instilling in them the reverence of God and teaching them to pray is one of the best things we can do.

Well, the washer tells me it's done, now it's my turn. I hope it smells better coming out of there than it did going in!!

Mundane Monday? Eh, maybe.

Ok, time for something shorter! Today I had several blessings and one not so pleasant, blessing. I have to call it a blessing or it might be a curse and I wouldn't want to say that.

First I went to Home Depot because I had received a letter in the mail saying that my rebate was denied because I was "ineligable." Huh? The local store helped me fill it out! I went in and nicely asked if there was anything they could do about it. They said that they could refund a portion of my original invoice if that would be ok with me? Fine enough here, it all spends the same way! But they had a problem, the computer kept wanting to give me $145 instead of the $105 I was due. They fussed around trying to get it to work and finally decided they didn't want to mess with it anymore and cheerfuly gave me a card worth $145! Praise God!!

Secondly, we had gotten a newer van back in March, one with two sliding doors and needed to get rid of our older one. I tried to sell it for over a month with no success until I finaly gave it to God and told Him to sell it however He could. Within two days I had a call and today he came and paid me in cash for it. And only $100 less than I was asking! Once again, Praise God!!

Thirdly, In my work as a sewing machine technician and saleman, I get a small hourly rate and then a commission on any machine I sell. Saturday, I sold a Bernina to a gal for close to 4k and she used her credit card. She had called in to pay for it before hand since she had to come so far and when we ran the card thru, our big brother Visa, calls and says that we are not allowed to do that and thus are putting the whole transaction on hold for 180 days!! We tried to reason with them and they brought it down to 30 days but that means we get NO money till the thirty days are up and they clear our name! Praise God? Well, I know I should because even though we really needed that cash now, this is God's way to help us learn to rely on Him and trust Him for the day to day. The problem is that with my arrogant pride that I keep battling with hates to have to depend on any one including God. So I guess that this is just what I need and if you have an extra prayer handy, pray that I learn my lesson!!

So long for now...

Is Not This The Land Of Beulah?

This afternoon I am rejoicing in the godly heritage that I have. For our afternoon service at our church, we had a “Singspiration” as we do every second Sunday of the month. This time we turned the benches around so that we were facing each other, and split into our four parts, soprano, alto, tenor, and bass. The singing was just glorious and I realized again what rich heritage of Godly, inspirational music we have and often take for granted. The one song really touched me because it reminded me of the person who I first heard sing it. His name is Keith Yates, (more affectionately know as “Bear”) and he sang it for us one Sunday morning when he was visiting our church. Bear was born premature as one of a set of twins. The nurse made mistake in the amount of oxygen she put into his incubator and he became blind. His mother did not want to deal with a blind child and put him up for the state to take care of. Over the next 18 years, he was bumped around from one foster home to the next with the longest stint of 3 years being spent at a home run by either conservative Baptist or Mennonite people, I forget which. It was there that he found Jesus and developed a deep love for the great hymns of the faith. To this day he can sing more of the songs in our traditional songbooks than I can and recognizes most of all of them. I won’t go into his entire story but about ten years ago, he found his mother and placed a call to her. She told him that she didn’t need him then and still doesn’t now. His father would often come around and steal from Bear when times where tough. Yet thru it all, Bear has kept a wonderful attitude towards the Savior and still trusts people. He Stood in our church and sang this song:

I am dwelling on the mountain, where the golden sunlight gleams
O’er a land whose wondrous beauty, far exceeds my fondest dreams;
Where the air is pure, celestial, laden with the breath of flow’rs,
They are blooming by the fountain, ’neath the amaranthine bow’rs.

Refrain: Is not this the land of Beulah? Blessed, blessed land of light,
Where the flowers bloom forever, and the sun is always bright!

I can see far down the mountain, where I wandered weary years,
Often hindered in my journey by the ghosts of doubts and fears;
Broken vows and disappointments, thickly sprinkled all the way,
But the Spirit led, unerring, to the land I hold today.

I am drinking at the fountain, where I ever would abide;
For I’ve tasted life’s pure river, and my soul is satisfied;
There’s no thirsting for life’s pleasures, nor adorning, rich and gay,
For I’ve found a richer treasure, one that fadeth not away.

Tell me not of heavy crosses, nor of burdens hard to bear,
For I’ve found this great salvation, makes each burden light appear;
And I love to follow Jesus, gladly counting all but dross,
Worldly honors all forsaking, for the glory of the cross.

Oh, the cross has wondrous glory! Oft I’ve proved this to be true;
When I’m in the way so narrow, I can see a pathway through;
And how sweetly Jesus whispers: “Take the cross, thou need’st not fear,
For I’ve tried the way before thee,” and the glory lingers near.

Oh to be there when Bear open his eyes for the first time and sees JESUS! He whom he trusted tho he could not see, and followed, tho painful that may be.
So many times I lose sight of the Savior. Not because I’ve lost my sight, but because I’ve changed my focus on Him who gave me sight.
Can I, can you sing this song with Bear? Can I truly say, “…there’s no thirsting or life’s pleasures?” Or, “…worldly honors all forsaking, for the glory of the cross?" I pray that I can, for one day we all shall.

To Every Generation

Last night we started to cut our supply of firewood for the winter. I know, I know, it's only May and we are still burning the wood stored from last winter. But I would rather cut wood now, than in the summer while being feasted on by our Minnesota state bird, the mosquito! It is different this year though because this is the first year that I am in charge of the job. Here's why.

When I was 18, my father saw how easy it was for me to blow my money on things that don't really matter, ie. stereos, computers, hunting stuff. He encouraged me to build a "daughty house" on the back of our property. For those of you who don't know, a daughty house is a house that the newly weds move into after the wedding and then when their family gets too large for the house, the parents often have a empty nest and they swap houses. We started by tearing down two houses and reusing the lumber to start the new little house. It took 6 years to build but whenever I had some extra money, I would buy more building materials for the house. Finale I met my wife in July 2000 and where married three and one-half months later. (I know, I know, short courtship but that is another story I'll have to tell later) We lived in there till this past Feb. when we decided as a family that the time for the great swap had come! WOW! What relief to finally be able to stretch out a bit!

But now the other part. Now that we are in the "big" house, I realize all the work that goes into a large property. Cut 14-16 cords of wood a year, keep the driveways plowed in the winter, 2 acres of lawn to mow in the summer, 3/4 acre garden to maintain, besides being a husband and father to my family! Sometimes I confess it feels overwhelming. I feel torn in so many areas and doing so poorly in what I can get done that it makes me wonder at times, "why bother?"

It's at times like these that I have to run to the promise God gave to Joshua, "...as thy days, so shall thy strength be." I must take these struggles to the Lord and allow Him to set my schedule for only then will I have any sort of peace in the midst of this storm.

I don't know when it will end, but for me, I know who will be there with me when it does!

Funny Conversation From Our Store:
Employer: "Boy, did I have a rough night night last night. It felt like I had knives in my stomach. I didn't sleep much all night"
Employee:"Where did you eat last night?"
Employer:" ***** ****** Bar and Grill"
Employee: "Oh yeah, they have great knives!

Me, Write?

I still cannot believe that I am really doing this! For all of you blessed people that can just sit down at a keyboard and just let your thoughts roll out onto paper, I have one thing to say, I am not like that!!!!

I can line up my thoughts as easily as you can train a chicken to use the privey! It gets worse. I was homeschooled my last 6 years and my parents said that for me to graduate, I had to do a term paper at least six pages long on the subject of my choosing. I started out fine. I did my interviews, read loads of information, but when I sat down with the paper in front of me to start writing, my thoughts all jumbled themselves up and then left! Without giving me their three week notice either! I am now 28 and still do not have a diploma. I confess I am a little embarrassed to go back and do it this late in the game. I mean, get real! Are they going to throw a graduation party for a married, 30 year old?!! How embarrassing!

I can speak just fine! I can hold up three sides of the conversation even if there are only two of us in it! In fact when I was asked to fill in for my dad in our pulpit this past winter, I thought for sure that I was going to run out of material before the sermon was 15 minutes old. But NOOO, when I looked at the clock at the end, I had "preached" for 55 Minutes! ( My notes barley filled three pages) I just can' seem to get what I want to say from my head to my fingertips!

So you ask me, why start now? For a couple reasons. Lately I have been challenged to think what our live would be like if the great writers of the past had not taken the time out of their busy days to write for my edification or enjoyment now. Would we have the scriptures we do, or the biographies of great ones of the past? What would we do if we never could read the lessons of someone else's life? While I will never be a great writer, I want to put down the things that God is doing in my life and maybe someday they will mean something to my children, grandchildren, or whoever is unfortunate to have to read them. It will never get any easier to start and while I could wow you with all sort of info on computers, sewing machines, photography or such, I need to knuckle down and learn to write. I hate to think what my life lessons would be like if subjected to the trial of "whisper down the lane" telling thru the years.
Secondly, me being a prideful creature, I know that if people are seeing this, it will serve as a good swift kick in the seat of the pants to have to update this and write on a regular basis.

Whether this is ever read by ya'll or not is not the question. (even tho I would like to hear from you once in a while :-) It is more about developing me into who God wants me to be and if it blesses you to, then we've just been doused with the same blessing.

A Tribute to My Mothers

In my life as I grew up, Mother was always something of a fixture and that is how I often saw her. Just as you get light by turning on a light switch, so when you would get a skinned knee, Mother was there. When I would wake up in the middle of the night with a bad dream, or get hurt feelings when someone at school said something that wounded me, Mother was always there. It never occurred to me to wonder if she would have liked to be somewhere else, or if she would like to work at the job she used to. I never questioned why she always had breakfast ready when I got up, or supper ready when Daddy came home from work, that was what mothers were supposed to do! I felt that God must have given my mother to me instead of the other way around. Now that I am a new father and am watching the making of a mother before my eyes, I have a greater understanding and a much greater appreciation for all that is wrapped up in the word Mother.

It had never occurred to me that it was a real chore to get up in the middle of the night with me and that the only reason was because you loved me. I never realized the choice you made when you had us children instead of holding on to the world’s idea of a nice figure. I never considered that maybe you would have liked to have a career outside of our home but you chose instead to do with a little less and in some cases to do without so that you could spend our childhood’s with us. I never realized that headaches can hurt so badly and that you can’t just stop when you have one. I never realized how scary it must have been to teach us children at home when you didn’t know some of the subjects that well. I never realized that naps were just as much for mothers as for children, and often you needed more than we would allow. I never realized that you don’t know everything and that you can’t be everywhere at once. I never knew about late nights praying for your children and for your wandering son to come home. I never realized the powerful example you set for us children, by your willingness to submit to your husband. I didn’t know that you were setting the groundwork for us to submit to Daddy as well as to our heavenly Father. I didn’t know about the weight of responsibility laid on you and Daddy, to teach us the ways of God. You would always hug me so tight, and I didn’t know it was because you didn’t want me to grow up too fast, or that you knew all too soon, I would be gone. Mother was always someone we came home too; I never thought what it must be like for her to see her brood grow up and go away. I never thought about these things, they just were! Now as I face the daunting task of father hood, there are times that I wish I could go back and be snuggled into Mommy’s lap, to hear her soft words of encouragement, and know that it will be OK.

But now I am a Father, and am watching with new appreciation, the transformation of a young lady into a mother. Not just a woman that bore a child but a mother, and all the bittersweet love that goes into the name. And so I would like to thank the two mothers in my life; the one who bore me, and the one who bears my children, for all these things that you have done to take this cold and heartless world and turn it into a warm and loving home. To me, heaven will be a greater version of the home Mother helped make for me. Where Jesus is always there to comfort us, to wipe away our tears, and soothe our bleeding hearts. He’ll hold us in His lap and let us listen to His beating heart. Then, all the pain of life, the parts that even mothers can’t soothe away, will disappear as Jesus holds us close and echoes what all mothers have whispered, “It’s OK, your safe at home now, and I’ll always love you”!

Happy Mothers Day!

Stauffer Tribe, July 2004